Would you ask your teenager for advice?

Nathan almost 18 in 2001

I vividly remember my teenage years and I am more than a little grateful they are in the distant past.  There are so many things that kids today are aware of and get to learn to "deal with" that I did not have to.  But there are also things that are exactly the same I think.  Much of it is a matter of perception, and an ability to recognize similarities, not just differences.   There is a post in today's Psychology Today Blog, Parenting is a Contact Sport  which asks parents, if they have ever considered asking their teenagers for advice.  Reading it I was so very aware that the five things discussed are things I could have said to my own parents as a teenager.

I believe that much of the communication difficulties that I had as a teenager, were due to my own flawed perceptions; but at the time I believed it was everyone else's perceptions, (including my parents) that were flawed...as many have observed before me: hindsight is 20/20.

I have to share that I am also grateful my children's teenage years are also in the past.  One of my many proud moments was overhearing my eldest son at sixteen tell his friends, "I can tell my mom anything."  Don't get me wrong, the "teenage years" were not easy.  Life is a collection of moments, this is one I get to cherish.

via Psychology Today an excerpt:


"Have you ever thought of asking your teenager for advice?


"What?" You might reply. "Why would I do that? What could she possibly know about life that I don't know better?"


And here's the answer: herself. Your teenage daughter knows herself better than you can know her-what she feels, what she needs and what she'd love to have from you. And your teenage son may be dying to tell you about himself-if only you would ask the right questions, show genuine concern about him and be willing to listen to what he has to say.


Most kids want to have a good relationship with their parents, so it's our job to open the doors forbetter communication and be ready to hear what they have to tell us.


Here's what Vanessa Van Petten, one of the nation's youngest experts on parenting and adolescents, has to say. "Whenever I interview teens, I ask them one important question: 'If you could give me one piece of advice for every parent, what would you tell them?' Interestingly, their tips tend to be quite similar-highlighting the fact that most teens and parents do, in fact, struggle with the same issues. Here are the top 5 tips we hear from teens that they wish their parents knew."  Five things every teen...